I saw something today...

I try very hard not to be a judgemental human.  I believe everyone is on their journey, and it is different from mine.  However, traffic safety laws are one area I cannot overlook. 

Driving.  When I was 16 I could not wait to get my license, and I did so within 1 month of my birthday.  Freedom.  FREEDOM! This thing that makes us all feel so free, wind in our hair, destination unknown, music of choice playing, this freedom has so many laws, rules, and regulations.  These rules are there so we can have this freedom! Imagine that, laws that make us feel free! 

If we did not all follow the same rules driving would result in crashes and deaths, far more than it already does.  We can't all go willy nilly and expect we will all get from a to b safely.  We have to follow the rules. 

When my mom taught me how to drive she started by saying this: "You are operating a deadly weapon."  I hope all parents say this to their kids, but I know they don't.  The weapon won't just hurt you either, if you don't follow the rules you, your passenger or some stranger outside your vehicle could be the fatality. 

So what did I see?  An adult, I don't know if it was the child's parent or not, but and adult with a ~5 year old riding on a motorcycle.  On a motorcycle between the driver's legs, no helmet, on the road. 

Why.  Why would you take this risk?  Any joy this child might receive from doing this can't compare to all the joys he will have the rest of his life.

Please, follow the rules so that we can all safely enjoy this freedom.

       

Heart Health Month: Love it up!

February is here, is almost half over! 2013 is going by quickly for my family, how about yours?

February has been named "American Heart Month" to help bring awareness to the number one killer of both men and women, heart disease.

Taking good care of your heart is very important.  The good news is through a healthy diet and regular exercise you can keep your heart muscle working long into the future.  We all know someone who has suffered or died from heart disease.  We should all take it very seriously.  But, this post is not about how often to workout or what type of food you should put in your grocery cart.  It is about love, yeah the other "heart".

Since becoming a mother I have often said I think babies take a piece of the mom's heart along with them when it leaves the womb.  If you have nursed your newborn you may have noticed yourself being "flipped off", good for a little chuckle and maybe a picture.  I told my mom about how many women share photos of their nurslings flipping the bird, and she, in her vast amounts of grandmotherly wisdom (ok, she is a nutritionist who has also studied alternative medicine at the Kushi Institute), quickly said "the middle finger is the heart regulator" of course babies flip the bird when nestled into their mother's bosom, their hearts are tied to and opened from the love of their mothers.

Here are the two hearts that tug at mine.
Thank you Lamarand Style Photography!

We often say things like `my heart is filled with love`, or `I have a broken heart`.  We don't "feel" with our heart, of course, emotions are "felt" in the brain.  There is a mind body soul connection that impacts our actual health.  When we are happy our health benefits from it, and when we suffer from mental health problems our physical health shows an outward display of this malady (for more information see healthy people).  Mental health status is associated with many of today's chronic diseases, including heart disease.

Just like we can keep our heart muscle in shape by the things we eat and activities we do every day, we can also keep our love in shape.  In fact, we should put just as much effort into keeping our bodies healthy as we do our minds and souls.

Making sure our children feel loved at all times is important to their mental and physical health.  When you hug someone you can actually feel relaxed, calmed, your heart rate can come down if you are frightened or stressed.  Love, the physical action of positive touch, can actually help your heart!  (Now, take a moment to go hug your kids!)  Welcome back! I hope that hug turned into a giggle or a snuggle or a book being read, a moment shared.  You will never regret giving your child an extra hug.  Giving a hug, or other form of physical contact helps the person giving and the person receiving, so give often and receive openly.

We need to remember to love our partners too.  For my family that means a very hard working and dedicated father.  He deserves more affection than I manage to give him, I know that!  This is one area where I can always improve.  Along with physical contact we also need to use words that always convey the love we truly hold for one another.  'I'm sorry' is often just as, if not more, important in a marriage as 'I love you'.  My husband and I have been married for over 7 years, we hope to live see our 70th wedding anniversary. I know our life will be filled with thousands of chances to say I love you and I'm sorry.  Do your heart and your partner's heart a favor let go of even the tiniest grudge, together, maybe this Valentine's Day?

Our little girl pulls at her Daddy's heart.

Finally, we as mothers often forget to love ourselves.  Truly, deeply love yourself. Say it with me.  "I love me! I am amazing! I am a mommy, and I love me!"  It is very easy for mothers to use their family as an excuse for not taking care of themselves.  "I don't have time to eat right or exercise" - but the truth is you don't have time not to.  Your children deserve a mother who is healthy, both mentally and physically.  You are the example for your children.  They need to see a mother who cares about her own health, because they will emulate you.  Want you kid to eat healthy? Eat healthy yourself.  Want your kid to be a healthy weight?  Exercise yourself.  Want your child to be confident? Have confidence. Want your child to show the world love and joy? Show the world love and joy! Easy pattern to follow, not always easy to execute.  Work on each thing slowly and deliberately and you will see your love and life grow.  

Happy heart health month, may your hearts be filled with love to give from the love you have received.



HealthyPeople.gov. Mental Health.  Accessed February 12, 2013. http://www.healthypeople.gov/2020/LHI/mentalHealth.aspx

Listen Up

Health.

What does that mean?

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines health as, "a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity" (Who, 2003). I believe these are things parents would want for their children. By this definition I want health for my children. As this blog is about ensuring the health of our children, of our future, I want to help my readers understand what being healthy includes.

Physical well-being: absence of pain and presence of safety. I want to do everything possible to make sure my children are 1. not hurting and 2. safe. This requires a lot of research! From the moment you decide to become a parent - or find out you are expecting - you have choices to make. Choices that are best made after educating yourself about the pros and cons of each necessity. These choices begin while your baby is growing in the womb, what vitamins to take, what to eat, drink, how to sleep. They continue as you prepare for the babes arrival, how and where to give birth, breastfeeding education, creating a safe spaces for baby in your home, postpartum support for mom and baby. Once baby arrives, what products to use, to clean your child with, to dress them in, diapers, medicines, what to feed them, what kind of car seat to buy. We cannot control everything, but there is so much information available aren't we, as parents, responsible for doing the best for our children, giving it our all. It continues as they quickly grow, how to teach, how to keep them safe and free from pain. Every child is different, every parent is different, you must make the choices that are right for your family. You can make these choices while being mindful of their impact on your child's future and the world.

Mental well-being: Let's return to WHO for an elaboration, "mental health is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community" (WHO, 2013). To keep your children healthy it is the job of a parent to help your child learn and grow, not just physically, but mentally as well. Much of this learning is passive, a child learns how to deal with stress by seeing how mom and dad handle stress. I will openly admit I struggle with this, but knowing where you are weak helps you become strong, helps you grow, encourages you to learn more. How beautiful our society would be if every parent took it upon themselves to show their child, to lead them to mental health.

Social well-being: What is it? According to the United States Institute of Peace (USIP) social well being is, "an end state in which basic human needs are met and people are able to coexist peacefully in communities with opportunities for advancement. This end state is characterized by equal access to and delivery of basic needs services (water, food, shelter, and health services), the provision of primary and secondary education, the return or resettlement of those displaced by violent conflict, and the restoration of social fabric and community life" (USIP). As a parent, as a human, I am on my soapbox shouting for social well-being. I am fortunate enough to live in a time and space where the majority of people I see on a daily basis have these things. However if we open our eyes and learn more about our world we find many people around the world do not have social well being, including people in our own town. I want my children to see me fighting for social well-being.

We all want our children to be healthy. There are infinite combinations of ways to lovingly parent and no one can make these decisions for you, nor should anyone judge you for your choices. You can make educated choices to provide the best health for your child, and being open to learning from others is a very important part of parenting and growing.

References.

USIP. http://www.usip.org/guiding-principles-stabilization-and-reconstruction-the-web-version/social-well-being. Accessed January 22, 2013.

WHO. 2003. http://www.who.int/about/definition/en/print.html. Accessed January 22, 2013.

WHO. 2013. http://www.who.int/features/factfiles/mental_health/en/index.html. Accessed January 22, 2013.

Stepping Up

I have been blessed with two beautiful children. Like every parent I have hopes and dreams for my children. I hope they grow up feeling the love I have for them. I dream they will live in a world where people are put before profit.  I wish they live to know a world where we are all equal, not because laws protect us, but because inside each individual mind there is the peaceful acceptance that we are all humans.  Flawed, different, perfect in our own way. Worth love.

I want my kids to know they are worth getting on a soapbox for.  All children are worth it.  All humans are worth it. We all deserve love and acceptance.  Love and acceptance come when we are educated.  We all deserve to be free from pollution, greed and hate. We live in an amazing time, where information is available almost instantly.  If you are willing to take the time you can learn anything. You can learn how to love, yourself, your family, your neighbor. You can learn more about how the choices you make every day impact everyone.

There are so many issues to get fired up about. We won't all share the same views, or have the same concerns, but we can learn from each other. We can empathize with each other. My soapbox is sitting on top of; normalizing breastfeeding, consumer safety, birth support, polluted air, toxic water, destroyed soil, violence, bullying, greed, over consumption, the list goes on. I wish with one step, one giant step onto my soapbox I could squash all of my concerns. But it is not that simple, and I, we, all need to step up. For our children, for their future. Be silent no more.

Life is a journey, parenting is a journey.  I hope in my journey to learn I can also teach. Learn something new every day, and teach someone something every day.  As we learn together we grow together. Growth and progress are nothing to fear. You can chose ignorance, or you can chose to learn something.

"In the end we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught." Baba Dioum